The Blackness of Grey

womancryingYou’ve probably already started seeing them . . . the ads and movie trailers hyping the upcoming film based on the best-selling pornographic novel 50 Shades of Grey.  Yep, it’s scheduled for release next month, February 13 . . . just in time for Valentine’s Day, because nothing says tender love and romance like bondage, domination and sadomasochistic sex (BDSM).

Couples can watch the movie on opening day and buy whatever torture devices they need to recreate their favorite scenes on February 14th and beyond . . . mutual consent makes it all okay, of course.  No “War on Women” here, right?  No emotional or sexual abuse; no rape or degradation . . . just adult “fun.”

When the book first came out in 2012 I blogged about it (in less sardonic prose) in a post entitled: 50 Shades of Dorian Gray  Now that it’s a motion picture though, the ubiquitous slick ads/trailers are more likely to capture the attention and curiosity of teenagers than the book’s release did.  What will you tell your teen son or daughter about the activities portrayed in the film’s promotional media?  How will your children respond if their non-Christian friends (and yes, even some Christian friends) brag about seeing the flick or exploring BDSM online?  Now is the time to be talking with your kids about eschewing the twisted ideas peddled by the 50 Shades craze, and reinforcing the true love of 1 Corinthians 13 that enriches marital sex as God intended.

Not sure where to start the conversation?  Check out the “Parent Survival Guide to Fifty Shades of Grey,” a multi-part series of excellent blog posts by Dr. Miriam Grossman:
She combines clinical expertise and unvarnished truth-telling about the harm BDSM inflicts on both women and men.  Parents will gain clear cut talking points to share with their teens . . . and possibly with other Christian adults . . . sadly, many believers—especially women—contributed to the erotic novel’s best-seller status.  According to the Barna Research Group, 19%[1] of American adults who read the book are practicing Christians.

wedding_handsOur young people need to hear early and often that wedding bands, not handcuffs, are the key to true love and beautiful, fulfilling intimacy.



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6 Responses to The Blackness of Grey

  1. Holly Simons says:

    Well said, once again, Linda.

    I remember the deep sadness I felt, and still feel, when hearing the content of this book and realizing yet again that this degrading novel had “gone viral”, capturing the attention of millions. And now a movie, to continue influencing the minds and hearts of our youth in lies and deceit. Even as I mourn these sadly repeating scenarios, I join with you and others in ongoing prayer for the heart and soul of a nation so desperately needing to seek God alone, and hear from His Word in these areas of self-worth, holiness and belovedness to Him.

    Just yesterday, I was sharing Psalm 139 with a dear middle school student, who was tearfully confiding to me about the “self-harming” (cutting) going on with a number of her friends. She shared how she herself had succumbed to this practice as a young girl, and how difficult it had been to journey out of the lies that lead to this destruction. It was so eye-opening for me to embrace this child, recognizing “up close and personal” the epidemic of low self-esteem that is leading to cutting, and often, ultimately, to death by suicide.

    Books and movies like “Fifty Shades..” do nothing but lead the way in this path of evil thinking that leads to such pain and destruction. Thank you for once again highlighting the need to keep putting resources of TRUTH in front of folks. Our voices, prompted by His Spirit, DO make a difference!

  2. Joe Grifoni says:

    Thank you Linda for exposing yet another tactic of the enemy here. And there is little I can add to Holly’s wise commentary. Remembering my days as a boy I can assure you that proper and holy attitudes toward sexuality must be taught. They are not instinctive. We must learn at an early age that women are to be treasured and honored, seen for who they are – the last piece of God’s Great Creation. The young male mind will be damaged by pornography in any form. BDMS is demeaning to women and a nasty poison to a man’s psyche – maybe I should say “his soul”.

  3. Linda says:

    Such powerful comments Holly & Joe!

    Holly I’m so grateful that God has gifted you with a gentle spirit that draws the hurting to you at unexpected times. Young girls who “self harm” are even more vulnerable to BDSM exploitation because they’ve become accustomed to using physical pain as a “balm” for emotional confusion . . . rather than as an undesirable sensation meant only to warn us that something in the body is injured or sick.

    Joe, until you pointed it out I never realized that woman was the finale of God’s creation. Could it be that He was “saving the best for last?” 🙂

  4. Joe Grifoni says:

    Well Linda – I believe the answer is YES! I believe there is something special about God’s last act of creation.

    Now that we have talked about the pornographic counterfeit of human relationships, let’s take a moment to look at the image that a woman bears. She is a very real, yet looking through a glass darkly, creature made in the image of God. Have you not found God beautiful, attractive, alluring and all captivating? At the same time, have you not experienced great awe and trepidation as you approach Him in prayer realizing how great and majestic God is? I find these are the same words a man will use to describe a woman that he falls in love with. He finds her beautiful, attractive, alluring, captivating and he swallows hard to keep the butterflies down in his stomach as he speaks to her. In her presence he may even experience a feeling of trembling in the body. Is this not similar to how we might come before our Holy God?

    Just as we cannot casually enter into the presence of God without being called though His Son Jesus and the washing of sin, a man cannot casually enter into a relationship with a woman involving the heart and body in complete intimacy without a covenantal action before God. To be cavalier in these wondrously holy and beautiful actions is an egregious thing with disastrous results apart from grace.
    Let us teach this to both our daughters and sons.

  5. omd says:

    Well, there is nothing left to say except, good post and tremendous comments. The enemy preys equally on men and women & boys and girls. None are safe.

    John Adams, 2nd President of the United States once said “We have no government armed in power capable of contending in human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for the government of any other.” ~ 1798, Address to the militia of Massachusetts

    If that is not a call to the church to stand up strongly on issues or morality then I don’t know what is. Thank you Linda for heeding God’s call on your life.

  6. Linda says:

    You’re welcome OMD. . . and thank you for posting one of my favorite quotes from the founding fathers. We long ago stopped heeding Adams’ wise words. Author David McCullough did us a tremendous service with his best-selling biography of John Adams. The brilliant and principled thinking Adams contributed to the birth of our nation astonished me and made this a real page turner.

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